This one could go either way: heavy or inspirational. Perhaps it will be both. You can be the judge… but remember, what you decide probably has more to do with how you’re thinking about it than anything else. My recommendation is to check in with yourself while you read. Are you feeling defeated or heavy? Why? Chances are that if you’re feeling heavy it’s because you’re focused on the past and on the negatives. What are the positives? What could make the future better? That’s what this is all about. Let’s talk about becoming the parent you want to be.

Yes, it is possible!!!

Okay, real talk: is this whole parenting gig looking the way you want it to look?

Here are some questions to decide:

  1. Are you feeling stressed, drained, or like your needs are forgotten more than 3 days per week?
  2. When you speak with your kids, do you like your tone of voice and the words that come out?
  3. Do you speak with your kids in collaborative conversation or at each other?
  4. Are you enjoying and cherishing your time together?
  5. Is there anything you would like to change about your relationships?
  6. Are things functioning well at home with everyone getting their needs met?
  7. Is the family as a whole on the same page with goals and priorities?

You get to assess your own responses. This isn’t a quiz, and I am certainly not the judge. Thinking through or writing out your answers to these questions can help you to get clear on how you feel. Are there things you would like to change? Chances are the answer is a big, resounding YES because we’re all human. Life can get pretty crazy. Plus, growth and improvements are always possible. All of this ties into one main question.

Are you currently showing up as the parent you want to be?

If the answer is yes, YAY YOU!!! However, if the answer is no or anything short of absolutely, there’s SO much opportunity. There’s a path in front of you to become the parent you want to be. Are you going to take it? I’ll be right there with you.

Let’s talk about becoming the parent you want to be.

While I’m pretty happy with things around here, I know I can always improve my own parenting. Perfect doesn’t exist in this area, unless you consider effort and steady-ish improvement to be perfect. So, now that we have identified that we want to become more of the parents we want to be, and some potential focus areas, what next?

One Step at a Time, and Double Dips

Let’s start with the easy button, shall we? What’s one little, simple, or easy shift you can make today to step more into the parent you want to be? Double dips are excellent. For example, maybe an evening walk after dinner/before bed could help you take care of yourself, destress, or something else beneficial. Bringing kids along could serve as a double dip to serve their needs at the same time. Wait… don’t groan or write me off as completely insane yet.

Sure it may be an adjustment or challenge at first. I get it, really. Sometimes kids hate strollers, have a burning desire to play in traffic, or would rather stab their eyeballs out than take a walk with mom. Let’s not even go there with nasty weather. Maybe this is the time to be strong and firm. Trust your gut, the one thinking about the future and not the one stressed in the moment!

The first few walks may not go as planned, but eventually, something amazing could bloom. Maybe the little one in the stroller will start to calm that nervous system every single night before bed and sleep better than ever. Perhaps the oldest will eventually open up about something super important. You never know, magic can happen outdoors.

A walk is just one example. What might work for you and your family? Is there a backup in case that option doesn’t turn out to be lovely? Find something that clicks, no matter how many tries it takes.

Grandma Mode

Another thing I initiated during a particularly rough phase was Grandma Mode. Ya know how grandparents tend to have all the fun with the kids while the parents get stuck with all the parent-y stuff? Well, it doesn’t have to be that way.

I decided to get all the parent-y stuff out of the way in the morning. Then when the time felt right, when we were all ready, I would slip into Grandma Mode. The kids want to go to the playground and then have pancakes for dinner? I’m SO in! Costumes and tiaras for everyone, even in public? You got it.

Tired Grandma Mode

Let’s be serious for a moment: parents and grandparents *sometimes* get tired. Caring for kids all day can be wearing, especially when outnumbered. How do they have so much energy in those tiny little bodies? It’s okay. We’ve still got this.

What are some good tired grandma strategies? Maybe this means a hidden stash of calm, imaginative play toys that are either new or only come out on occasion. Sitting together and imagining is often perfect because kids tend to take over from there.

Also, can we lower the standards, and can the task of cleaning up the messes wait? Is there a game that can be played to encourage the kids to clean it up? It’s okay to heat up some frozen food or order takeout.

Get creative with this one, preferably before the exhaustion hits. As a bonus, it may be fun to get the kids to come up with ideas. It can be a whole learning experience for everyone.

Are you ready to become the parent you want to be?

It’s not too late. Also, let’s not wait. We can get started right now. Kids count on their parents. How do you want to show up for them? What will it take to become the parent you want to be?

I get it. Stuff can be overwhelming, especially when life gets life-y. You don’t have to do it all alone.

Looking to become the parent you want to be? Perhaps a bit of support on your journey? I’ve got your back.

Click here to learn about how we can work together.


This blog post is about becoming (becoming the parent you want to be). Here are more blog posts related to the word ‘becoming’ (but not the parent you want to be) from other sites:

A Work In Process – Becoming by Lisa Crowder

https://lisacrowder.substack.com/p/a-work-in-process-becoming

Simple Is Better – Becoming by Dianne Vielhuber

https://simplewordsoffaith.com/2023/04/01/simple-is-better-becoming/

Growing in Grace: Understanding and Embracing God’s Plan for Midlife by MelAnn

http://lifesouvenirs.net/p/growing-in-grace